IF ALL GIRLS
IF ALL GIRLS WERE TAUGHT HOW TO LOVE FIERCELY
HOW TO COMPETE WITH EACH OTHER
AND HATE OUR BODIES,
WHAT A DIFFERENT
AND BEAUTIFUL WORLD
WE WOULD LIVE IN
The other day a friend said to me , “Do you just love being a Mom?” I responded with ” It is a nightmare for me”. She was really surprised with my answer and I did not understand why. If you know me then you know I love to be very transparent with my emotions and what is happening in my life. This friend had only seen me as a mom through my instagram.
Later that day I read a quote…
Instagram is the most damaging social media platform when it comes to young people’s mental health, new research suggests.
The photo-sharing app, which is owned by Facebook and has 700 million users worldwide, is considered the social media platform most likely to cause young people to feel depressed, anxious and lonely, according to a U.K.-wide study by the Royal Society for Public Health (RSPH) released Friday.
In a survey of almost 1,500 Britons aged 14 to 24, the RSPH found that young people were most likely to associate Instagram with negative attributes and low self-esteem, resulting in poor body image and lack of sleep.
I was really worried when I first became a mom that I was too selfish. I had dedicated the last ten years to studying the craft of acting. I have a dream of telling stories for a living and at this point my career is not where I hoped it would be. The thought of becoming a mom terrified me because I did not feel “ready”. Once the baby arrived I was overwhelmed with nothing but love for her.Then as the months went by I started to feel completely isolated, not like myself and really depressed.
I see my friends on social media enjoying life and I often forget that it is a highlight reel and not reality. On a Saturday night when it is 8pm all I want to do is dive into bed. I watch instagram stories and think… Everyone lives such beautiful,adventure filled and positive lives. Then I beat myself up for being boring, tired and fat.
The days start to seem endless and I worry that I am not doing enough as a mom. The isolation takes over and anxiety sets in. I know I want to raise a daughter who is strong, fierce, goes after what she wants and is unapologetically herself. I read this article called The 100 Days of Darkness and it was so refreshing to know I am not alone. When your life has irrevocably changed and you have to figure out how you fit in this world again it can be challenging. I sometimes feel guilty even admitting I am anything but overjoyed and happy being a new mom. I look into her beautiful blue eyes and think why am I so sad when you are such a joy? What I am learning is it takes a village to raise a child and in our society we become very isolated.
In order to raise a strong daughter I must lead by example. I know it is important to nourish my body as well as my mind. After having a baby the healthy relationship with my body went out the door. I could not believe I was in a body I did not recognize. I have to remind myself daily to be gentle and trust my body. I have been doing some guided mediation lately and I am reminded that gratitude is the only way to start positive momentum in my life. Instead of wishing for a better career,body,life I have to appreciate the good in the one I am living. When I truly remind myself of all I have to be grateful for- that is when my vibration changes and good starts to flow into my life.
Growing up my Dad always told us family is the most important thing. I now know how true that is. We live in a different city then most of our family members. I find myself needing to ask my Mom questions daily. I just wish I could see them more often. I start to think about Arctic and her future and I want her to have relationships with her grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. These people are the ones who always have my back, are full of love and support and I am who I am because of them.
So before bed I think it is time to read stories instead of scrolling social media. In the morning instead of reaching for my phone I will try to reach for a lemon water and move my body. The mind is a battle field- it can really take over if you are not mindful. It is a wake up call for me to really pay attention to my thoughts and make sure I am creating a life I truly desire.
This quote I read on the hardest days…
Mama , You were given this child.
You were given this child because you are who they need. You have the soul to love them even on their hard days. You have the love and motivation to give this child everything they need. You have the heart to wake up every morning and do it all over again,even when you are exhausted.You have the smile they crave and the touch to make it okay. On the days you are questioning yourself, remember, You Got This. -MyWildBird