We are waiting for our baby girl to arrive. This pregnancy has been very challenging emotionally, physically and spiritually. I pictured pregnancy as a beautiful transformation and a chance to enjoy way too much coconut ice cream. Instead I was initially filled with fear when I found out I was going to be a mom. I started to doubt my career choice, my ability to be a parent and I let my mind race with fears.
In the first trimester I became so sick that I did not feel like I could function. I was not telling anyone that I was pregnant yet so I did my best to take it day by day. I developed an eating disorder in my teen years. I decided that I did not want to live with an eating disorder and did a year of cognitive therapy. I could not believe the freedom I found in learning to trust my body and listen to what it truly needed. I developed a healthy relationship with my body. When my body began to change during the second trimester I had all my negative body image thoughts come back into my mind. I had to remind myself that my body needed to change in order to grow a baby. I had to be gentle with myself when I looked in the mirror. I was not eating a balanced diet and I reminded myself that sometimes it is ok for life to not be balanced. It was a reminder to myself that all or nothing thinking does not allow for any grey areas. Life is never black and white and there is so much magic that happens in the grey areas of life.
I feel like I lost a little bit of myself during pregnancy. I had to accept my energy levels were lower and slow down. In slowing down I learned to appreciate an extra hour in bed just stretching my toes and feeling the little babe swim around in my stomach. I also learned that I can ask for help and sometimes it is nice to lean on the ones you love. I am now at a turning point where my health stabilized and I can start to get excited for her arrival!
I found a few places to maternity shop where I still feel like myself! I really enjoyed shopping Top Shop Maternity, H & M Maternity and Pink Blush Maternity online. My wonderful friend Farrah did this maternity shoot for me and I am so grateful to have these pictures to remember this part of my pregnancy journey. As I sit here typing this I can feel the little babe kicking and I can not wait to meet her! Xx
Coat: Babaton Cristobal Aritzia Boots: Zara Floral Top: Top Shop Maternity Jeans: H&M Maternity Jeans Grey Dress: H&M Maternity